Illustration by John Sadler www.johnsadlerillustration.com 

• A FEW months ago I was delighted when I looked out of the window to see a colourfully-lit Chinese lantern floating serenely 20 feet up across my garden towards my neighbour’s barbecue.

Imagine my horror at the news this weekend from Montana in the USA. How dare they snoop on me like that?

I tried in vain to contact the RAF. I’m not usually one to make a fuss but I shan’t be leaving it there. I will not be getting my regular Friday night szechuan chicken and egg-fried rice takeaway until I get some answers.

My wife has been scathing about my response, saying that I should calm down. What if mature political nations were to react in such a hysterical manner? she asks.

But what I do with my begonias is my business and I have a brand new Spear and Jackson spade and two bags of potting compost in my shed!

FW ANDERSON, NW3