BREXIT, the Benin bronzes, the Honourable Member for West Suffolk chowing down marsupial genitalia, cream or jam on first – this great nation has never been short of controversy.

The aforementioned, however, are as nothing when compared to the thorny issue of naming the best Christmas movie. It’s been known for families to be rent asunder after a Baileys-fuelled granny confessed to having a soft spot for Elf.

So, to head off any such familial discord, I have come up with the definitive list of cinematic festive fare.

The first hurdle is qualification: just because a film is set during what our American friends call the holiday season – Home Alone, Die Hard etc – is it actually a Christmas movie? Nah. I think not. In those films it just happens to be Christmas, it’s not intrinsic to the plot. A Christmas movie is one that cannot exist at any other time.

Right, now that’s settled we can begin.

I’m sure you appreciate this is a very personal list – if you don’t agree that The Bishop’s Wife is a better movie than It’s a Wonderful Life I’d go and pour yourself another Snowball if I were you. But in the grand tradition of Sight and Sound, let’s kick off with one you’ve probably never heard of.

Cash On Demand is Hammer’s sort of take on A Christmas Carol. It stars Peter Cushing (natch) as a Scrooge-like bank manager blackmailed by a suave André Morell. As the latter turns the screw, the former learns there’s more to life than money, eventually thawing to such an extent that he contributes towards the office party. It’s a surprisingly effective little drama that perhaps betrays its roots in TV.

If there’s one thing Bridget Jones’ Diary has taught us it’s that coming up with a hit Christmas song is a pretty good pension. And the same goes for a hit Christmas movie: if you get it right your mistletoe-bedecked, bells- and snow-flecked mawk-fest can be wheeled out year after year, re-released and streamed ad infinitum.

But in 1993 Henry Selik went one step further.

The Nightmare Before Christmas gave him two bites of the cherry: Christmas and Halloween. A timeless stop-motion confection, it’s the tale of Halloween Town’s Pumpkin King Jack Skellington highjacking the festive season but getting it wrong. It has the bonus of some catchy Danny Elfman songs but has been slightly spoiled for me after I noted Skellington is the image of a frowning Liz Truss.

Hollywood isn’t called Tinseltown for nothing – it has the knack of turning out any number of glitzy, if slushy, holiday schmaltz. There appears to be an endless slew of sentimental, “heart-warming” festive movies (usually fetching up in the afternoon on Channel 5). And with bigger budget efforts such as The Holiday, Bad Santa, Scrooged and The Grinch there’s a Christmas film for every taste, and a few – Santa Claus vs the Martians, for example – where taste doesn’t get a look in. But somewhere near the top of Hollywood’s heap (although it was actually made at Shepperton) must be Michael Caine’s finest hour and a bit, The Muppet Christmas Carol.

For many, Kermit and co’s 1992 spin on the familiar festive tale of redemption is a highlight of the season. It’s funny, boasts some fun musical numbers, looks great and Sir Michael is superb. Sure, it’s got a lot going for it (including a missing song if viewed on Disney+) but doesn’t quite take the top spot.

Right, it’s time for that number one position – the irrefutable best festive film. And yes, it’s Scrooge, the 1951 version of A Christmas Carol starring the estimable Alastair Sim.

Apart from Richard Williams’ animated version (also voiced by Sim), it’s the nearest in spirit (!) to Dickens. Not for one moment hampered by its modest budget – this is no David Lean effort – it’s bulging with perfectly cast British character actors, including Patrick Macnee, Michael Hordern, Jack Warner, George Cole, Miles Malleson and best of all, a cadaverous Ernest Thesiger.

However, its fulcrum is Sim. I never quite bought Albert Finney’s Scrooge – or his Poirot, come to that – but Sim is the perfect Ebenezer, entirely believable as both the flint-hearted curmudgeon and the reformed munificent bon vivant.

I love the scene near the end when he ruffles what’s left of his hair to jokily shock a traumatised Kathleen Harrison.

Like Eliza Doolittle, Scrooge tests an actor’s range – the character does a 180 degree volte face and casting someone who can pull off both facets is no easy task.

As we’ve seen, there’s no shortage of screen Scrooges but in the battle of the misers, Sim reigns supreme; he’s the clear winner in the clash of the tight ’uns.

So that’s it, my pared down list of the best filmic festive fare. Of course, you’re more than welcome to disagree with my selection box set – as long as you acknowledge that you’re wrong.

Happy viewing and happy Christmas!

PS: Almost 900 words on Christmas films, you say, and no mention of Love Actually? Let’s just call it my gift to you all.