The new Ikea store

I WONDER if there is a graveyard somewhere for the Billy, a cemetery full of white wood and screws slightly in the wrong place.

There was a time, after all, when everybody seemed to have their music collection neatly stacked in IKEA’s ubiquitous narrow bookcase ­– measured for compact discs instead of novels.

Hopefully, any unused Bill(ies) have all been recycled into something more useful in this streaming era where buying an album seems as dated as having a blaring megastore for your brand on Oxford Street.

And yet is having a huge shopfront on the nation’s high street really so passe? While youngsters no longer see escalators, a wall of hectic screens and an in-house DJ as a necessary accompaniment to spending their clothing allowance on Top Shop tat, Ikea is moving into the clothing firm’s old home near Oxford Circus tube station.

Harrington admits to being curious to see how it is going to work out for the Swedish furniture retailers. Most importantly, will there be meatballs? The rules have it that you can’t even leave with an isometric desk tidy unless you also have the meatballs.

The store will open this autumn, it was confirmed this week.

And as it’s not an American hard candy shop or a place to buy a cherry vapestick, you have to hope it is a success, even if the location seems a slightly surprising choice.