IT’S well publicised that Transport for London are a little short on cash – aren’t we all, bub? – so its Freedom of Information team urge anybody thinking of sending a request to make sure they really, really need it as it all requires “the use of limited resources and the attention of staff who could be supporting other essential activity”.

This hasn’t stopped people regularly asking for the sound recordings used on the station PA systems and announcements used for buses. Under the rules, TfL cannot really say no and so hands them over.

One requester last week said he wanted some bus recordings from Edgware so he could use them “on my game on Roblox”. In the tube sound packs, of course, you will find a Tannoy callout for the mystery Inspector Sands to go somewhere on the concourse, an old hat code for something needing swift attention.

More intriguing – or worrying – is the never-heard sound file: “Would Mister Neptune please go to the town centre?”

It’s frightening to think what that might actually mean. Please tell us it’s not the last thing we will hear at Armageddon.